How to build self-confidence?

Photo credit – Suhail Camran

Confidence is the key to attaining any kind of goal a person would like to achieve. Lack of confidence is a big hurdle in achieving success and because of trembling self-confidence, many people crawl throughout their life but do not reach the goals they want to accomplish. So, how to build your self-confidence?

Everyone born in this world has limitless possibilities to grow, but what made some people outsmart in their achievements and left many of them far behind? Their positive attitude and the energy they gain from their confidence earn them a leading position in the race.

Why do some people outsmart others?

Some people are confident in their approach. It is a built-in quality among these people who remove the fear of losing from their minds. They cultivate many benefits of their positive mindset and grow further.

On the other hand, people who lack in their confidence tend to have a negative viewpoint about themselves and what they hope to achieve in their life.

The more confident you became, the more you hear your inner voice, “Let me do it, I can achieve it”. Your risk-taking capacity increases and you remove the fear of failure from your cognizance. When the fear of failure is out of your thoughts, your distance to achieving what you aim for gets closer.

Why self-confidence matters?

Self-confidence is very important in achieving a happy and satisfying life. People with self-confidence enjoy their life better than those who have doubt in their own abilities to perform. Confident people are more energetic, less fearful, more resilient, more determined, and have better relationships with others.

Where do we gain confidence?

The lifestyle of a person plays an important role in building confidence. When we keep reaching our defined goals, we keep gaining confidence. At this time our morale is high, and our success is at a peak. But remember, success is not an event, you may encounter challenges when you find some defeat in your life. Keeping morale high at this time will give strength to fight catastrophe, move forward, conquer and gain self-confidence.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

 — Winston Churchill;

What to do when your self-confidence fluctuates?

If you think you are a victim of low confidence, don’t worry, you are not alone in this world. But just not worrying will not improve your self-confidence, you need to take some action. With very few steps you can build your self-confidence and achieve what you strive for.

Author Alice Boyes Ph.D. has given very good steps and easy 5 Tricks for Low Self-Confidence.

Sometimes depending upon the situation, self-confidence fluctuates and people who think they are confident can become the victim of low confidence.

For example, when you start some mission you feel you can accomplish, you have the ability to perform and reach the target. You make your plans to reach those objectives. You do your best to achieve, but some outside forces, which are not in your control, blow wind from the opposite direction. This makes it difficult for you to keep flying in the direction you like to.

In this scenario, at a given point, when maximum energy is consumed, your faith starts quaking, and low-confidence thought starts emerging. This is the period you need to keep your mind positive. With a positive mindset, you can reshape plans and amend strategies you had projected at the beginning. Keeping yourself positive, will help you go through such stages.

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

— Henry Ford;

A step back to gain proper perspective

When your self-confidence is giving up, you may feel that you are a loser. Some negative thoughts try to divert you from your actual dream. You may think of giving up on your imaginings and trying to change your track. This might bring negative feelings and you may feel you are no longer confident in pursuing and reaching your goals.

At this stage, you need to consider getting a step back to have a clear picture. Seeing with an eagle’s eye and preparing yourself to fight back will enhance your thinking power. Don’t give up, this is the time when your chance of emerging as a great force is more powerful.

Remember Thomas Edison, who had failed more than 10,000 times before he was successful in generating a light bulb. He achieved this with his confident approach.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

 — Thomas A. Edison

How to build self-confidence?

Let us see some measures which can support bundling self-confidence.

Believe in yourself

Believing in yourself is the first step to gaining self-confidence. Love yourself and be aware that you are capable of achieving your dream as others have attained theirs. You were neither born confident nor unconfident. Your environment and situations developed your belief over a period of time. If you suffer from low confidence, ask yourself, “when did you decide you cannot handle something?”, it was not a born gift. It was slowly engrossed in your mind through your thought process.

Remember, your belief and success have a very close connection with each other. The more you believe in your abilities, the more you prosper, and your prosperity boosts your confidence level.

“Believe, really believe, you can move a mountain, and you can. Not many people believe that they can move mountains. So, as a result, not many people do.”

— David J. Shwartz.  Book: “Magic of thinking big”

Refrain from being overconfident

To know, confidence is like saying, “I can do it”, and it is a positive way of thinking. But overconfidence is negative, in which a person can assign this tribute to self and negate any other person’s ability to achieve it. Refrain from being overconfident.

Think Positive

Be optimistic all the time. Give no place to guilt and no place to worry in your heart. Whatever happened in the past was based on your thought process at that time and the situation you were in. If something bad occurred, learn from this and take necessary actions so that if a similar situation befalls, you can perform better to get a different outcome. If something good had happened, take this experience to produce more good out of such practice.

Remove the fear of rejection and fear of failure from your head. There is nothing like if you failed once, you will fail over and over. With your optimistic approach, there will be a point where your failure will show its reverse side and turn into success.

Stop blaming others

Don’t look out of the window and start blaming people crossing the street. Instead, stand in front of the mirror and put the responsibility for the person you are looking at, which is “you“. Stop blaming others and accept responsibilities.

Think of a role model, and follow the best possible steps to become like one. But remember, in the end, your confidence will boost when you will simply follow the person. Don’t try to imitate that person, but try to get the best experience out of that character. In long run ‘BEING YOU’ will help you boost your self-confidence.

Ask for help

Whenever you need assistance from someone, ask with courtesy. Do not hesitate to ask for help. Know, people occasionally need help from others in moving forward. Likewise, help others who reach out to you to get some help.

Asking for a professional’s help can improve your confidence and you will learn from their expert advice. Do not hesitate, hesitation will shake your confidence. Confident people reach out to many, get ideas from them, and when they act they take full responsibility for their own actions.

Be kind

Be kind to yourself and others. Think from other’s point of views before judging anyone. Being kind does not mean trying to please everyone. If you try to please everyone, you will be in a distressed situation, your stress level may increase. Be fair with yourself and others and when someone approaches for your support, be generous in providing assistance.

“Confidence comes from discipline and training.”

– Robert Kiyosaki

Cover up your lack of confidence

Covering up your lack of confidence helps you show your confidence to others. Even if you do not have confidence, imitate as if you are confident. Do not worry, you are not cheating, you are just trying to show to people that you are poised. When you get better results from this effort, your confidence will automatically grow. Next time when you talk to them you will have developed self-confidence.

Build your body language

Learn, people read your body language. There are experts who can know your inner feelings from your body language. Be composed of your attitude. When you stand, keep your legs aligned with your shoulders, and keep your posture straight. Push your chest a little ahead, imagine a string pulling your head up toward the sky, and keep your neck straight and eyes perpendicular to your head. Push your shoulder a little backside. It will give a much-composed look to your body and it will show confidence in your appearance.

Establish eye-to-eye contact

When you talk match eye-to-eye contact, which will give a confident look to the opponent. Be sure of what you are talking about. If you do not know something, accept that you don’t know. Don’t forget that it is not essential for you to know everything, but knowing how to get that information is necessary.

“Remember, your eye contact is communicating to others that you’re truthful, open-minded and confident.”

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